Thursday, 24 November 2016

SO KOKO Life Topics | Dark Skin Confidence

So who's faking it?

Pretty for a dark skin girl, Not pretty because you're dark skin, Light on dark, dark on dark - We're over it! Just last week, a lady's confidence was called into question because she posted a nice selfie. Below came this ridiculous exchange:

"I don't know where dark skinned girls are getting this confidence"
"I think the confidence is fake tbh"

Well "tbh", for this week's  Life Topic we're asking all those inclined to not only take several seats but:

Before we hit you over the head with them! On the one hand, you can say it's a compliment. Her beauty and her confidence oozed so much that it called into question they're small-minded prejudice - Like how could this be?! Even they asked where did it come from lol 

Don't worry where it came from, just know it's here and it's here to stay. DSG's, Even if you have to fake it till you make it and you will make it- practice makes perfect and you are perfect already, one day you'll see.

Self-confidence is a constant process and for a lot of dark skinned girls it's been a long one:

Truth is, Everybody's going through it. Society can't make up its mind on what it wants.

You're the right shade but your nose is crooked. You mean your nose is flat and your chest is flat, your lips protrude but your bum doesn't?

Whatever the 'ideal' becomes, be expected to grow it overnight and being a dark skinned female almost feels like a double negative. 


I mean you could bleach your skin into a lie, but those knuckles will always tell the truth!

Your skin is not the problem. Others having a problem with your skin, is their problem and their problem alone... unless you have a problem too?

 If that's the case, you've got your Ss wrong my dear, it's not your skin, its your self- esteem, it's your self-confidence. That's an inside-job, hence the 'self' prefix.

 I can go ahead and lie and say Society and social trends have no say, but then ask yourself why do you really contour your nose? We do conform to some pressures, otherwise, all you'd see were bootcuths (bootcut jeans - UK reference)

 Sometimes it is hard. You tell yourself, you know it deep down, but every time you come out of your house it's :

And you know what, sometimes the hate comes from a black guy saying it with his chest, like he didn't just try to slide into your dms like:

Since the dark skinned male approvals have gone up, some BUT NOT ALL guys, with nothing popping but their twitter fingers, will feel the need to say some things, that will hurt, but it's not even for your reaction, it's for this:

Don't even trip too much...

I was once disgusted, and still am, when a black dark-skinned African man told me one of the local sayings back home, 'fairness cures all ugliness'. Dark is not ugly. Dark skin doesn't mean dirty skin.  Marry someone for them, not to dilute your 'darkness' ( another thing he said).  

We like to use dark skinned girls for artwork, but fail to see them as a work of art

We're not puppets, until you deem us 'fit', deem us 'beautiful'.  Why should my confidence surprise you?

Our skintone is only part of our description - You're not just a woman, just Black, just African, just 25... likewise you're not just dark-skinned. But if being dark was all that you were, all that they see, let the confidence shine with it

So if you're going to define us by our skintones, let's get the definition right.

Dark can have all the negative connotations in the world, but when it comes to our skin honey, dark skinned is beautiful, rich, strong, lovely, confident... see how it rolls off the tongue? And the list continues even as this post stops.

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