Thursday, 2 March 2017

SO KOKO Life Topics | Girl Code

It's so easily broken, we need to update it...

March means Women's Month and there's no better time to review the 'Girl Code'.

Like the 'Bro code', there are somethings that are just meant to be understood. An unspoken unwritten code of conduct but as girls are moving more recklessly, freely, we may have lost our grip on our etiquette, so we decided to write a few down! We keep flinging mud at each other and it's tainting our gender - that's not pretty, no matter how many
#womensupportingwomen 
#blackgirlsrick 
#melaninbabes
#squadgoals
#thatsmybestfriendmybestfriend
#girlsruntheworld
hashtags you use.




1. WOMEN MUST SUPPORT EACH OTHER
UPDATED: Support Who you want but don't drag each other

Must? Well just because you're a woman doesn't mean my support is mandatory, sorry. If what you're doing doesn't fit with my morals, then I don't care if you fit with my gender. However that doesn't mean we should drag each other either. You dont have to like someone to support them. 



2. NEVER FIGHT OVER A GUY, NEVER GO FOR A GUY YOU KNOW IS INVOLVED
I mean HELLO, No update required. It's not the rule that's the problem, what needs updating is all the 'hide your man, your man used to dm me' notions. Some things are worth fighting for and no man is worth fighting another woman for- She can have him.

3. DON'T TELL EACH OTHER'S SECRETS 
UPDATED: Don't tell each other's secrets to outsiders, even when the friendship ends
It's the whole friends for a reason, friends for a season. When a friendship dies or a girl does something reckless to you, we feel like whatever arrangement, code is broken and we spill all the tea. That's wrong! lol I know it's tempting but it's wrong!LOL When the friendship dies, bury the secrets with it..


4. GIRLS OVER MAN

UPDATE: Make time for your man and your girls/ Respect your girl's time with a man
If you're 'thinking like a man' and thinking of your own rendition of bros before hoes - girl, bye. Everyone has their position hence everyone should have their time. 


5. SCREENSHOT INTERACTIONS AND SEND THEM TO A FRIEND/THE GROUP. SOMETIMES A SECOND OPINION IS NEEDED

This is just a matter of fact, no? This stays how it is. Well, it depends on the circle, just look over your own lives to see how much they rotate. But definitely have one person, that knows at least 90% to stand as a witness. That's your fact-checker. Plus they can keep things level and objective, especially if you're knee deep in emotions. Prevention is better than cure!

6. HELP YOUR GIRL TEXTING A NEW POTENTIAL

We all have ghostwriters. There's no shame in the game. But this one may need updating soon just because sometimes you let a friend orchestrate one or two texts and then they're slap bang in the relationship with you. So make sure when thing's get rolling, you drop the stabilizers and try move as a two-wheeler.

7. DON'T BE THAT GIRL WITH ALL THE PROBLEMS AND NO SOLUTIONS

NEW ENTRY. Yes your girls are suppose to be there for you, offer emotional support, let you vent etc. But girl keep it together! The reason why we're even updating the rules is because the tea is just everywhere...Feel comfortable to talk to your girls but solve some things for yourself. Don't let them use this against you when they break rule 3. Also, when the shoes on the other foot, and they have an issue, offer support, dont revert the conversation back to you and your problems! (Hate That!)


8. LET A GIRL KNOW IF HER MAN IS CHEATING

This isn't changing. The whole 'coming to you as a woman' has been desensitized, it's banter. No, it's life!Why there's even a other woman, that's not for us to tackle. But, if you know, speak. If she decides to stay or go that's for her. But if you see and do not say, you're a wrong'n and you know it. If she turns a blind eye, that's her bad, but if you do, you're a bad friend. Have integrity Ladies, we've let that good trait slip.

 9. NEVER GO AFTER A GIRL'S EX WITHOUT PERMISSION

UPDATED: Date who you want but don't be sly with it, own it.
Listen don't 'go after' someone's ex, that insinuates you may have been after him before the fact. This needed to be udated because who is asking permission? FOR WHAT? AND WITH WHAT AUTHORITY?! YOU'RE THE EX- So exit the situation. 
Avoid if possible, but if that's your husband for instance, the love of your life, should you now miss chance because he used to date so and so in '03?
 Just don't be sly with it, if it's out be open. Don't give alternative facts. If the relationship was so left, remember there will be factors she don't know but still that's a judgement call on the new girl, not you. If she's a quick one, judge her internally. But honestly, if it's getting under your skin, it might be because you're not over him. 

Girls girls girls, the truth is we need to do better. If we show in our actions a respect for one and another, show how women should be treated and develop a standard for ourselves,imagine what we could achieve.

Happy Women's Month!



No comments:

Post a Comment