Thursday, 25 May 2017

SO KOKO | Life Topics | 5 Things We Should've Never Let Our Parents Get

How could we let this happen?!


1. Facebook
Do we need to go any further? Ah Facebook, The Great Informer.
The truth of the matter is You don't have to be on Facebook to be on Facebook. You need to understand EVERYTHING GOES ON FACEBOOK. Shola wore pink on her graduation, Shola is engaged, Shola had a baby, Shola coughed and yet 'Shola' hasn't been on Facebook since 2011. All their Christmases came at once when they could 'connect' with 'Friends'. Facebook is the Google, Sky News,the MySpace the MSN messenger for our parents generation, everything they 'saw it on Facebook', they 'read it on Facebook'. How many people's parents joining Facebook ran them off it? Can we claim
It back or is it just too late?!



2. Whatsapp
Another thing to spread like wildfire is Whatsapp. Have you ever heard your parent(s) coin the phrase 'what's up me'.  It was mentioned earlier every little thing is I saw it on Facebook I read it Facebook, but everything else is 'someone sent it to me on whatsapp'
Stay away from Westfields, send this to 5 people, so many chain messages. It needs to broken! Off their phones and out of their hands. Oh and God help you if you're a rookie with the 'Last Seen' enabled or if they know about the blue ticks and read time stamps

3. Your friend's Name or Number
You need to understand that, all they need is one name. Just one! Do you think I'm David's Mum?    I'm not your mate, I'm not David or the other side of the spectrum, I'm sure David doesn't talk to his mother like that? So David is getting married? So David has a masters? David studied law and what did you do? Music? Common tailoring? They will use that one name to flog you. You don't have friends, okay! But for some of our younger readers, once they get a number of your friend's or their mums number it's a wrap. You let your phone ring twice, guarantee David has 10 missed calls. You came home 1 minute past 9 and your mum has enlisted Ama's mum to come find you.

4. A look at your paycheque
This is an interesting, basically you can never be broke! Well why would you be broke? but still you can never "not have". It's a tough one Fatima because on the one hand they don't have to see it to help you spend it, they don't have to see it to help you calculate it. You buy one shoe and it's like FATI has money, FATI is rich. Don't get me wrong, if you have GIVE! We think you should give anyway, if you're home rent free contributing nothing but stress, just know what you sow is what you reap. Don't be bummy. The reason why letting them have a look at your paycheque or lets even say knowing all your outgoings is, when they want money for them it's like oooo u rich but when you spend on you, FATI, FATI FATI ( how many times did I call you) you need to save you don't know how to save......

5. Last but not least... Camera phones
We can't blame them really, who else has loads of pictures of their parents and their shenanigans from the 80's/90's especially. It's like all they did is take pictures! But now with camera phones, the 'SELFIES' ( especially when the angle technique hasn't been mastered so you're getting a lot of ceiling, a lot nose hair and a whole lot of chin.  What else? Have you ever been through a parent's phone and you see the boo snaps. My love my dear cringe cringe cringe. Daddy why you trying to do eye. Cringe cringe cringe. But even with all of this there is nothing more annoying (parents we're sorry permit us to say that) than 'come and take my picture'. Can you guess where it's going? ( Point 1 + 2 for the slow ones )

Operation shutdown let us know how you do and maybe we can apply the strategies worldwide. Parents, enough



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